Oe, "A Personal Matter" and I
大江、「個人的な体験」、そして私の個人的な話
(The Japanese text follows the English./ 日本語は英文の後にあります)
This month, on March 3, Japan time, Japanese novelist Kenzaburo Oe passed away. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1994 and was a world-renowned figure, so my explanation is unnecessary here. His obituary was reported in the New York Times and BBC News.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/13/books/kenzaburo-oe-dead.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-64938314
Among Kenzaburo Oe's works, one particular book brought me much closer to this great writer. It is "A Personal Matter," published in 1964. It is the story of a young father's anguish and his mind transition after his son was born with brain herniation and which gave him a mental disability, and it was written from Mr. Oe's own experience of his first son being born with the same condition when Mr. Oe was 28 years old. Although I read this book almost 20 years after its publication, "A Personal Matter" opened up a whole new world to me. I have a sister with severe disabilities, mentally and physically. When I read "A Personal Matter" in my late teens, I was overwhelmed by my emotions, which were beginning to spread in many different directions, typical of adolescence. And I was avoiding thinking that I have a family member with disabilities, and it made me feel guilty. It was a time when there was still no Internet, and Japanese society was not open about discussing people with disabilities. I could not find anyone around me in the same situation as me. My parents, who were trying to do their best for my sister's disease, one of the incurable disease lists for which there was little data or information, were sincere about living with it, but they were way too busy to be my mentors. In "A Personal Matter," for the first time, I could see the distinct social reaction to people with mental disabilities, the anguish, and the emotional ups and downs of those with a family member with a disability. It was a quite literary work and a complex coming-of-age story, and I was aware I was too immature to fully understand it back then. However, I was saved by the fact that through his work, a leading Japanese writer shared his personal experiences with his child with disabilities and his feelings about that situation brought to him. I looked to him for a spiritual mentor figure.
Oe's son, Hikaru, underwent head surgery as an infant, which saved his life but left him with a learning disability and some physical conditions. Despite this, he still has musical talent and is active as a composer. I saw a TV documentary about Mr. Oe and Hikaru's father-son relationship when Hikaru was about 30 years old. In this documentary, Mr. Oe said that he wanted to teach Hikaru about death in preparation for when he faced Mr. Oe's death. He referred to William Blake's poem "Jerusalem," in which Jesus told Albion, the human, about his death.
“Jesus replied Fear not Albion unless I die thou canst not live
But if I die I shall arise again & thou with me
This is Friendship & Brotherhood without it Man Is Not”
Mr. Oe said he wanted to tell Hikaru to understand that he should not be afraid of death even if his father dies. He also wanted Hikaru to know that if he was ever reborn, that time would be with Hikaru again. I was surprised that Mr. Oe, known for no religious faith, held such views. At that time, I had been unnaturally resisting things to protect my non-religious identity. But I learned that day that even though I don’t have a religious belief, it is natural to be interested in it. And I will see there is much to learn from it. And even if we do not have faith, we have some kind of "energy" that comes from our inside bodies, like a "prayer,” even if we don't call it so.
When Oe's son Hikaru was born in 1963, his doctor said he couldn't see. So Mr. Oe and his wife named him Hikaru, which means "light" in Japanese. Later, however, it was discovered that he could see. In the summer, when Hikaru was six years old, Mr. Oe learned that his son could also speak. He was walking with Hikaru on his shoulders by a lake near their summer house. Somewhere in the distance, a water rail sang. Then a polite announcement came from above Mr. Oe's head, "Kuina desu (It's a water rail)." That was the first time Mr. Oe heard Hikaru's voice. Years before that, Mr. Oe saw Hikaru's eyes light up when he heard birdsongs on the radio, so Mr. Oe made an endless tape of various birdsong recordings and played them constantly in their house. Amazingly, he had it all memorized. He continued as "Onaga desu (It's an azure-winged magpie)," "Shijyukara desu (It's a Japanese tit)," and so on, in the exact the same tone of voice with a polite commentator in the recordings. About this event, Mr. Oe described what was in his mind in his lecture at a college in Tokyo.
"After I heard the first bird's chirping (and Hikari's voice), I was waiting for the next bird. While waiting for the second bird's song, there was something inside of me, and I still believe that was a kind of like, 'prayer' for me."
There was a time when it was more challenging to accurately determine the illness or find functional disorders of infants with disabilities than it is today. My sister was born in 1967, and the doctor told my parents she might be unable to hear. Indeed, there were times when my sister did not respond when we spoke to her. However, my mother knew that occasionally, my sister would suddenly turn her eyes in response to something. So, she took my sister to the nearest Oimachi Line crossing from our house to check her hearing by seeing if she would respond when the sound of the crossing signal started. In the interval between the end of the signal sound and waiting for the next train, I can imagine now that my mother also had something in her mind, a kind of "prayer," just as Mr. Oe when he waited for the second bird to sing while having Hikaru on his shoulders.
After "A Personal Matter," I read Oe literature from a very "personal" angle. When I heard the news of Mr. Oe's death, I felt as if a significant presence I had relied on had disappeared. Still, now I think the works he left behind and his various political messages have emerged even more powerfully.
"Moe Agaru Midori no Ki (A Green Tree in Flames)," said to be Kenzaburo Oe's last work when it was published, is a three-part long novel. And it ends with one single word. The documentary I mentioned earlier, which was aired about 30 years ago, captured the timing of Mr. Oe's finishing the first draft of this book. And in that interview, Mr. Oe said that this last word was also the word toward himself. Mr. Oe said he wanted to say it to himself just before he died, and he said it was the final plan for him. I sincerely hope Mr. Oe was able to say it.
- Rejoice!
今月、日本時間の３月３日に日本の小説家、大江健三郎氏が亡くなった。彼は1994年にノーベル文学賞を受賞し世界的に知られる人物なのでここで私の説明は必要はないだろう。ニューヨークタイムズやBBCニュースでも訃報は報じられた。
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/13/books/kenzaburo-oe-dead.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-64938314
大江健三郎氏の作品の中で私がこの大作家をぐっと近くに感じた１冊がある。それは1964年に出版された「個人的な体験」。これは息子が頭部に異常がある状態で生まれてきた若い父親の苦悩と変化を描いた物語で、大江氏自身が28歳の時、彼の長男がその小説と同じ状態で生まれた体験から書いたものだ。私がこの本を読んだのは出版から20年近く経っていたけれど「個人的な体験」は私にまったく新しい世界を与えた。私には重度の心身障害がある妹がいて当時の私は青年期特有の、さまざまな方向に広がり始めた自分の感情に圧倒され、家族に障害者がいるということを深く考えないようにしていた。そしてそんな自分に罪悪感を持っていた。まだインターネットはなく世間では障害者のことをオープンにしなかった時代で、同じ境遇の人を周囲に見つけることはできなかった。私の両親は、指定難病でデータや情報がほとんどない妹の病気に真摯に向き合って生きていたが私のメンターになる余裕はなかった。私は「個人的な体験」の中に初めて、はっきりとした障害者に対する社会の反応や家族に障害者を持った者が抱える苦悩、感情の起伏を見た。それは未熟な私には十分に理解できないほど文学的で複雑な青春物語ではあったし、大江氏が障害がある子を持つ「親」の立場で私は「きょうだい」という異なるものであったけれども、日本を代表する作家が自分と共通する、非常に個人的な体験とそれに伴う感情を作品を通じて公にしていることに救われた気分だった。私は彼に精神的メンター像を求めたのだと思う。
大江氏の長男、光さんは乳児の時に頭部の手術を受けて命は助かったが知的障害が残った。それでも音楽に対して興味と才能を持ち作曲家として活動もしている。昔のテレビ番組で30歳を過ぎた光さんと大江氏の親子のつながりを追ったドキュメントを見た。その中で大江氏は将来自分が死ぬということを光さんにどのように伝えたいかを語っていた。彼はウイリアム・ブレイクの詩 “エルサレム”の中でイエスが人間であるアルビオンに、自分の死を恐れるなと言った部分を引用していた ー 恐れることはない。私が死ななければ汝は生きることはできない。しかし私は再び蘇り汝と共にいるだろう ー その部分を頼りに大江氏は光さんに自分が死んでもその死を恐れるな、ということを分かってほしいと語った。そして自分がもし生まれ直すようなことがあればその時は君と一緒にある、ということも言いたい、と。信仰を持たないことで知られていた大江氏がその部分から考えを得ていたことに私は驚いた。それまで無宗教である自分を守るために不自然に物ごとに抵抗していた私は大江氏から再び心の解放を得た。信じる宗教は持たなくてもそれらに興味を持つことは自然であり、そこから知ることは多い。そして信仰を持たない者でも「祈り」のような、体から湧き出てくる何か「勢い」があることを。たとえそれを祈りとは呼ばなくても。
大江氏の息子の光さんが1963年に生まれたとき、医者から彼は目は見えないと告げられた。それで彼を「光」と名付けたという。しかしのちに目が見えることが分かった。光さんが話すこともできるということを大江氏が知ったのは、光さんが６歳のときの夏。避暑地の湖のほとりで光さんを肩車ながら散歩をしているときだった。どこかでクイナが鳴いた。すると大江氏の頭上から丁寧な声で「クイナです」という声が聞こえた。それが大江氏が初めて聞いた光さんの声だった。大江さんはその数年前に、光さんがラジオから流れる鳥の声を聞いて目を輝かせたのを見て、さまざまな鳥の声が録音されたエンドレステープを作り家の中で常に流していた。光さんはそれを全て記憶していたのだ。さらに「オナガです」｢シジュウカラです」など次々と鳥の名を告げる口調は録音中の丁寧なアナウンサーと同じ口調だった。ある講演で大江氏はその時のことをこう語っている。
「あの鳥の声を聞いたときです。一番最初のを聞いて、二番目の鳥の声が聞こえる間、自分の心にあったものっていうものも、僕は、自分としてはやっぱりある『祈り』のようなものだと思っています」
障害がある幼児の病気や不自由な部分を的確に判断することは今より非常に難しい時代があった。私の妹は1967年に生まれたが、母は医者からこの子は耳が聞こえていないかもしれないと言われた。確かに妹は呼びかけても反応しないことがあった。しかし母はまれに妹がふと何かに反応して目を向けることを知り、家から一番近い大井町線の踏切に妹を連れて行って警報機が鳴り始めたときの彼女の反応で聴覚を確かめた。警報機が鳴り終わり、次の電車が来るまでの合間の母には、大江氏が光さんを肩に乗せ次の鳥が鳴くのを待っていたときのように「祈り」のようなものがあったに違いない。
「個人的な体験」を境に私は非常に私の「個人的な」角度で大江文学を読んできた。大江氏の悲報を知った瞬間は私は頼りにしていた大きな存在が消えたように感じたが、今は大江氏が残した作品、そしてさまざまな社会的なメッセージがさらに力強く浮き上がようにも感じている。
発表された際には大江健三郎の最後の作品と言われていた「燃えあがる緑の木」は三部にわたる長編小説で、その最後はある一言で終わっている。先に書いた30年ほど前のドキュメンタリー番組では大江氏がこの作品の第一稿を書き上げたタイミングをとらえていて、そのインタビューの中で大江氏はこの最後の一言は自分自身に投げかけている言葉でもあると言っていた。自分が死ぬとき声が出るのなら自分に言ってやりたい、それが自分の最後のプランだ、と。私は大江氏がそれを実行できたことを心から「祈って」いる。
ー Rejoice!